The Can't-Didates
By Corey Lyons
Contra Costa Newspapers
Oct. 8, 2003
The stampede to replace Gov. Gray Davis catapulted political nobodies into the unruly recall mix, giving the historic election a sense of slapstick.
As the numbers trickled in Tuesday, Republican businessman Bill Simon was in a dead heat with Larry Flynt, the publisher of Hustler magazine.
Former child star Gary Coleman was trying to fend off Mary "Mary Carey" Cook, star of "Double D Dolls 2," for ninth place.
It was that kind of night, giving outsiders a chance to snicker about California adding to its "Left Coast" rap.
But for most of the "other" candidates, this free-for-all recall promised flash-bulbs of publicity and low expectations. Very low.
Trek Thunder Kelly, a 33-year-old artist in Venice, said he was shooting for 69 votes because he was born in 1969. He more than doubled his goal in the first hour.
"Oh, yeah? Awesome!" he said over a cell phone Tuesday night.
The recall gave performance artists, entrepreneurs and opportunists a chance to flash their credentials _ whether canyon-like cleavage or Ivy League smarts.
This was the California Dream all right, played out in front of a fun-house mirror.
"I was with Trek Thunder Kelly, The Bum Hunter and others considered fringe people the other day. Well, these people are the intelligent ones. We're in here for a specific purpose," said candidate Kelly Kimball, 45. "The others are just creepy."
In August, the secretary of state's office finalized a list that made elections officials gasp: 135 wannabe governors.
The list was long and bizarre. A hard-luck former child star; a bounty hunter; a golf pro; a divorced, fruit-smashing comic; a sumo wrestler; a porn starlet; even a balding electrical engineer named Michael Jackson.
While most knew they had little chance of winning, they set about promoting themselves after gathering 65 signatures and paying a $3,500 filing fee.
They campaigned on Web sites, passed out fliers and eagerly, even shamelessly, pitched themselves.
Kimball and his business partner, Scott Mednick, 47, ran a joint campaign to push their spring-break party brew, ButtMonkey Beer.
Their message? The financial crisis smothering the state is a rather helpless situation. So, "Have a ButtMonkey."
"It's an amazing thing that you can actually run for the big show and say anything you want," said Kimball, who ran as a Democrat. "We can get up there and sell our products."
So can Angelyne, the buxom babe of the billboards who ran to highlight her curves and favorite color, pink. Hot pink.
The self-created model, who plastered her image on Los Angeles billboards in the 1980s, drives a candy-pink Corvette with "Angelyne" vanity plates.
This time, she prowled her Bel-Air neighborhood as a gubernatorial contender.
"Are you going to run my picture? I am pink and visually soothing," she said in a phone interview Tuesday while preparing for a party at the historic Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood.
In many ways, running for governor was alternately an exercise in personal ambition and moxie in a state known for its tolerance of just about everything.
Georgy Russell, a 26-year-old software engineer in Mountain View, campaigned to clean up elections, the energy industry and the criminal justice system. And, oh, while you're checking out her Web site, how about a $14 "classic thong" or a "Georgy for Governor" T-shirt?
Kelly, the Venice artist, dressed all in blue, sported a cowboy hat and ran a campaign to sell his buttons.
"Still, I wish I had a product to sell like Mary Carey," he said. "I guess any notoriety will help legitimize my art in the long run."
Mary Carey, a 23-year-old adult-film actress, gave the race its, well, curious sex appeal. She promised to tax breast implants and offered personal dinner dates for $5,000 apiece.
Overall, this hodgepodge of political amateurs and serious candidates offered a collective stiff-arm to the leaders in Sacramento.
"I think this election is probably the second greatest example of people expressing their notions and thoughts about the direction of the country since the dumping of tea in Boston," said independent candidate Darryl Mobley, founder of a family magazine in Danville.
"We have a sick state, and it will not get better on its own."
Contra Costa Newspapers
Oct. 8, 2003
The stampede to replace Gov. Gray Davis catapulted political nobodies into the unruly recall mix, giving the historic election a sense of slapstick.
As the numbers trickled in Tuesday, Republican businessman Bill Simon was in a dead heat with Larry Flynt, the publisher of Hustler magazine.
Former child star Gary Coleman was trying to fend off Mary "Mary Carey" Cook, star of "Double D Dolls 2," for ninth place.
It was that kind of night, giving outsiders a chance to snicker about California adding to its "Left Coast" rap.
But for most of the "other" candidates, this free-for-all recall promised flash-bulbs of publicity and low expectations. Very low.
Trek Thunder Kelly, a 33-year-old artist in Venice, said he was shooting for 69 votes because he was born in 1969. He more than doubled his goal in the first hour.
"Oh, yeah? Awesome!" he said over a cell phone Tuesday night.
The recall gave performance artists, entrepreneurs and opportunists a chance to flash their credentials _ whether canyon-like cleavage or Ivy League smarts.
This was the California Dream all right, played out in front of a fun-house mirror.
"I was with Trek Thunder Kelly, The Bum Hunter and others considered fringe people the other day. Well, these people are the intelligent ones. We're in here for a specific purpose," said candidate Kelly Kimball, 45. "The others are just creepy."
In August, the secretary of state's office finalized a list that made elections officials gasp: 135 wannabe governors.
The list was long and bizarre. A hard-luck former child star; a bounty hunter; a golf pro; a divorced, fruit-smashing comic; a sumo wrestler; a porn starlet; even a balding electrical engineer named Michael Jackson.
While most knew they had little chance of winning, they set about promoting themselves after gathering 65 signatures and paying a $3,500 filing fee.
They campaigned on Web sites, passed out fliers and eagerly, even shamelessly, pitched themselves.
Kimball and his business partner, Scott Mednick, 47, ran a joint campaign to push their spring-break party brew, ButtMonkey Beer.
Their message? The financial crisis smothering the state is a rather helpless situation. So, "Have a ButtMonkey."
"It's an amazing thing that you can actually run for the big show and say anything you want," said Kimball, who ran as a Democrat. "We can get up there and sell our products."
So can Angelyne, the buxom babe of the billboards who ran to highlight her curves and favorite color, pink. Hot pink.
The self-created model, who plastered her image on Los Angeles billboards in the 1980s, drives a candy-pink Corvette with "Angelyne" vanity plates.
This time, she prowled her Bel-Air neighborhood as a gubernatorial contender.
"Are you going to run my picture? I am pink and visually soothing," she said in a phone interview Tuesday while preparing for a party at the historic Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood.
In many ways, running for governor was alternately an exercise in personal ambition and moxie in a state known for its tolerance of just about everything.
Georgy Russell, a 26-year-old software engineer in Mountain View, campaigned to clean up elections, the energy industry and the criminal justice system. And, oh, while you're checking out her Web site, how about a $14 "classic thong" or a "Georgy for Governor" T-shirt?
Kelly, the Venice artist, dressed all in blue, sported a cowboy hat and ran a campaign to sell his buttons.
"Still, I wish I had a product to sell like Mary Carey," he said. "I guess any notoriety will help legitimize my art in the long run."
Mary Carey, a 23-year-old adult-film actress, gave the race its, well, curious sex appeal. She promised to tax breast implants and offered personal dinner dates for $5,000 apiece.
Overall, this hodgepodge of political amateurs and serious candidates offered a collective stiff-arm to the leaders in Sacramento.
"I think this election is probably the second greatest example of people expressing their notions and thoughts about the direction of the country since the dumping of tea in Boston," said independent candidate Darryl Mobley, founder of a family magazine in Danville.
"We have a sick state, and it will not get better on its own."
posted by Corey at 8:26 AM
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