Wunder Reviews Keep Us on the Edge of Hysteria

By Corey Lyons
Contra Costa Newspapers
Aug. 13, 1999

As Hollywood approaches the millennium, two thoughts loom in our collective minds:

Is Jar Jar Binks on the brink of destroying his first hotel room?

And will sanguine movie critic Paul Wunder ever muster the courage to trash his first Hollywood film?

I see a Beverly Hills hotel in Jar Jar's future, but it's doubtful that Wunder will say "it sucked" anytime soon.

WBAI Radio's oft-quoted film reviewer green-lights more pictures than John Travolta. Corey Feldman's agent will probably receive a telephone call before Wunder rips his first blockbuster.

Alas, the man can hardly string together a sentence without using a combination of the following words: taut, psychological, stunning and photography.

He spends more time "on the edge" of his seat than an airline passenger sitting next to Marlon Brando.

"Ransom' is the most exciting sit-on-the-edge-of-your-seat thriller of the year, perhaps of the decade." -- Wunder on "Ransom"

You have probably seen his name and quotes splashed prominently across newspaper ads to help promote the latest theatrical releases. As Hollywood tirelessly cranks out its assembly line of generic action flicks, Wunder is leading the way with a bright torch.

The poor soul endorses everything, including "Armageddon" and "One Tough Cop." He's like Marilyn Manson venturing into his first cosmetics store: Everything looks good.

"A surprisingly entertaining and effective comedy bolstered by the unusually intense chemistry between stars Sandra Bullock and Ben Affleck." -- Wunder on "Forces of Nature"

I can only imagine his response after receiving a telephone call from a studio executive promoting, oh, "Mr. Magoo." Wunder: Hold on a second there, friend. Let me find my notes. Ah! It was wonderful! A 92-minute belly-ache! One of Nielsen's best performances ever! I was sitting on the edge ...

Of your seat, Paul. Thanks.

But what really sent Wunder's credibility spiraling like Andy Garcia's thespian career was this: He truly enjoyed "Mimic."

The film, in which Mira Sorvino mimics an actress, was so bad that the alien insect reportedly uttered "I just can't take it anymore," and killed himself during rehearsals. Of course, our intrepid critic found lots to enjoy about the picture, in which a giant mutant cockroach begins eating humans in a sewer system beneath New York City.

"A terrifying and scary thriller made with depth, complexity, skilled acting, social comment, dazzling special effects" Uh, Paul? "stunning photography, fast-paced editing and brilliant direction" is what Wunder said of "Mimic."

Wow. Five words, Paul: It really wasn't that deep.

"I found this film so utterly absorbing that I was completely able to ignore its sometimes obvious flaws." -- Wunder on "One Tough Cop"

And he calls "Instinct," starring Cuba Gooding Jr. and Anthony Hopkins, "powerful." Widely panned from coast to coast, "weak" might be a more appropriate word to describe that picture.

"Breakdown' is a taut, suspenseful thriller that will literally leave you jumping up and down on the edge of your seat for an hour and a half." -- Wunder on "Breakdown"

We'll take your word for it, Paul.