It's a Bad Time for Movies

Byline: Corey Lyons
Contra Costa Newspapers
March 23, 2001

FOR FILM PURISTS, this is the blue period, Hollywood's lengthy sabbatical from refined taste.

In short, "Sweet November" and "Save the Last Dance."

By "refined taste," I don't mean to eliminate a significant portion of the vast moviegoing audience.

OK, that was a lie.

Still, many of us are under the illusion that we have refined taste in things, especially people who bark into tiny cell phones while browsing the vibrant shelves of Pottery Barn.

But finding people with genuinely good taste in film is about as difficult as tracking down an agent for Corey Haim.

Films with refined taste include those that are made with a balance of originality and sophistication.

And this is a particularly painful period for people whose interest in film stretches beyond "The Wedding Planner." (Or any production in which the word "impact" appears in the title.)

Historically, the movie industry saves its most original and artsy material for late in the year, lest it be forgotten by the hoary chaps who comprise the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences which votes for the Academy Awards.

For instance, two films receiving significant best-movie Oscar buzz include "Traffic" and "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," each of which was released in the fourth quarter of 2000.
But for a refined filmgoer, 2001 or most years, for that matter is bleak until about October. Maybe. Even the 73rd Academy Awards, which will air on Sunday, holds little interest for true purists because of a significantly weak pool from which to choose.
For others, movie nirvana is experienced each summer, during which the major studios unveil their heavily-hyped products. In other words, movies that feature at least nine explosions, all for an eager group of the easily amused who generally do not get enough fireballs in their daily lives unless they live near a refinery.

Moviegoers with refined taste, however, loathe summer flicks. These films are dumb. They lack a plot with any depth or complexity. They lack character development. And the screenplay -- the most crucial element of a good picture-- is given all the attention of a late-night term paper.

Which brings out the disgruntled film purist, who spends his or her time eloquently chatting with other like-minded breeds and complaining about, say, "The Mexican."

Unfortunately, our numbers are too small to influence Hollywood. We need help. Your help.

In fact, this current lull in the movie continuum is a perfect opportunity for conversion. That is, for a person with refined theatrical tastes to influence or "convert" those simpler-minded viewers.

And that may be you, friend.

First off, you need to be upset. Fighting mad. I'd suggest listening to actress Renee Zellweger discuss character development for about 10 minutes.

Or you can simply peruse this rueful movie lineup, featured at a recent Union City theater: "Down to Earth," "3000 Miles to Graceland," "Miss Congeniality," "Recess: School's Out" and "Valentine," among others.

Yes, kids, things are that bad.

And now that you're properly steamed and pining for better-quality fare, we need to start opening your minds.
Here are some insider tips toward a more refined theatrical lifestyle and image:

* Start referring to movies as "films" or, for variety, "pictures." Right now.
* When somebody mentions a film that is unfamiliar to you, don't ever ask, "Who's in it?" It shouldn't matter. A good picture is a good picture. A better question would be: "What's the premise?"
* Look up the word "premise."
* Don't ever support Keanu Reeves, especially when he is trying to portray a lawyer or a scientist. Ever.
* While in the theater, resist the strange urge to turn a double-play: popcorn and Goobers. You're better than that.
* "Erin Brockovich" earned the coveted best picture nomination. That is not OK.
* "Crouching Tiger" is a brilliant and stylish film with subtitles. No, really.

Now get on the phone and start campaigning. You deserve better than this. I know you do.